Hi Everyone - I'm Mom/Emma's oldest daughter. We know that Mom has so many great friends at church, in the neighborhood and among the many organizations she belongs to that will be interested in how she is doing. I can't possibly answer all the phone calls and explain the circumstances to all who are interested so we decided to create this blog about our Mom - Emma Allebes. Those of you who know Mom well, will appreciate the black and white checkerboard and bright yellow...think of Mom's Taxi Cab outfit. Chris (my oldest son) set this up for me - thanks!
Following is a copy of the email I sent to family and a few friends yesterday....I will add more info to this blog explaining how all this came to be and keeping everyone updated on Mom's current situation. Please send comments back to the blog that we can share with Mom. We'd love to have you share fun stories, special memories and good wishes.
Just a brief preview for those who didn't even know Mom was 'under the weather'...Mom had been feeling kind of 'punk' for about 3 weeks. However, it wasn't until the middle of last week that we started to get concerned. On Wed, Sept 23 - Mom had a series of blood tests done, and by Saturday, Sept 26 - we admitted Mom to the hospital at Kaiser Morse Ave.....it's been quite a rollercoaster ever since that time!
Here's a copy of the email I sent out yesterday - Sept 29:
I just wanted to send you a quick email about Mom. It's been an amazing day full of tears and laughter.
Following is a copy of the email I sent to family and a few friends yesterday....I will add more info to this blog explaining how all this came to be and keeping everyone updated on Mom's current situation. Please send comments back to the blog that we can share with Mom. We'd love to have you share fun stories, special memories and good wishes.
Just a brief preview for those who didn't even know Mom was 'under the weather'...Mom had been feeling kind of 'punk' for about 3 weeks. However, it wasn't until the middle of last week that we started to get concerned. On Wed, Sept 23 - Mom had a series of blood tests done, and by Saturday, Sept 26 - we admitted Mom to the hospital at Kaiser Morse Ave.....it's been quite a rollercoaster ever since that time!
Here's a copy of the email I sent out yesterday - Sept 29:
I just wanted to send you a quick email about Mom. It's been an amazing day full of tears and laughter.
We've had lots of questions, answers and decisions to make - some of them have been hard but the final decision has brought all of us a lot of peace and comfort.
Mom has Acute Myeloid Leukemia. At this point, with Mom's age and the progress of Leukemia, treatment options are limited and only promise a very short term possibility of success - if any.
Mom has chosen to come home as soon as possible. She doesn't want to have any pain, she doesn't want to suffer, she wants to be home with her family and friends around. Although she is still very weak - she totally understood what the doctor was telling her. She was surprised at the diagnosis and her options - not what she expected at all...but she accepts it. Her words are: 'I've had a good life and a lot of fun. I know my family loves me and my family knows I love them.'
The doctor moved Mom to a private room in the Oncology Ward - E8 - where she will be more comfortable and very well cared for while we are making the arrangments to have her come home. I'm not sure how involved all that will be but I am optimistic that we can get her home before the weekend...if not, it would be at least Monday and we really don't want to her to have to wait that long.
Tomorrow we will be busy moving forward on that. Heather and I will be busy with whatever needs to be done, Reaka will go home to her family in Morgan Hill and we hope to allow Dad to have the day tomorrow to spend with Mom....they need some special time of their own. After we (the doctor and family) talked to Mom and she understood what was happening and let us know her feelings, Dad asked everyone to leave Mom's room (her roommate had been moved out by then also - yeah!) and they spent about a half hour just together. He needed that time alone with his Sweetheart.
Please be assured that our family is not taking this decision lightly. My previous plan personally had been to ask the doctor for copies of Mom's records, etc and to ask for a second opinion and to include alternative healing with our options. We had a family prayer with the doctor before our meeting this afternoon and are very grateful for the doctor's gentleness and frankness with us. All 5 of us (parents and 3 sisters) have come to this peaceful conclusion together. The RNs, CNAs and other support staff at the Camellia Bldg at Kaiser Morse have been so amazingly kind and supportive to us as a family and to Mom as their patient - we are so very grateful to them for that....they have been wonderful!
Once Mom was moved to the new room - she announced that she needed chocolate and sent Reaka on a quest. I came back from calling Brian (my husband) and Mom's sister to tell them the news and found chocolate being passed around and Mom giving more instructions. I totally agreed that a dose of chocolate was in order! Her demeanor has changed sooo much since knowing she will be coming home (and going 'home') - she's talking about all the people she's going to get to see with fondness - her parents, her sister, Dad's parents, Leslie Williams, a special Aunt - and she's making jokes. She's in better spirits than she's been in at least a week! We (Dad and my sisters and I) all feel total peace and comfort along with some sadness and tenderness about this decision. We know that the next couple/few weeks will be challenging and want to enjoy as much as possible the special times we will be allowed together with Mom as her friends and family.
It's been a long day and I need to get to bed to be rested for tomorrow. I had hoped to set up a blog tonight to contact and inform Mom's family and friends of her situation but that will have to wait for tomorrow or.....as soon as I can do it.
Feel free to share this info/email with anyone you think will be interested...I'll be sending out more info (about what has happened the last 4 weeks, what people can do to help, how people can arrange to see Mom, etc) hopefully tomorrow. If anyone wants to visit Mom in the next couple of days (Wed or Thur) - she will be at Kaiser Morse, Oncology Wing, E8. My cell phone minutes are pretty much used up - so I think I'll be using it only for communicating with my husband (free minutes) or emergencies.
Pam & Dorothy - you have both been so supportive that I wanted to be sure to keep you aware of what has happened. Thank you both so much for your help and support. I personally have felt so much comfort from having both of you encourage and guide me and give suggestions during this last week. What a Journey!
Hugs and Love -
Shenna Mealey
I am so saddened tonight by your news.
ReplyDeleteYou know that I love your MOM and read each word with much caring in my heart.
Please tell your MOM that I want everything to be good for her at home…..I know she and your Dad live in the most wonderful house anywhere and it will make her happy to return there.
I will do anything…..I mean anything for your Mom and Dad. I can cook….organize…..clean…..anything…..just call me.
You are a lucky girl to have such a great MOM…..even in the hospital…..her words are perfect……and I especially liked her request for chocolate!!! No wonder she is my friend!
Terry Ryanxoxoxoxoxoxo
Hello Shenna and family,
ReplyDeletePatty Martin just forwarded me your e-mail concerning your mom...Just know that I am so saddened to hear this. Your mom has certainly lived a wonderful and fruitful life. Always thinking of others and always on the cutting edge. She has touched, taught and encouraged so many, Please pass this word onto her that she was an encouragement to me when I first started to do wearable art. My prayers and best wishes are with you Emma and the family during this season of your lives.
Your mom was such an inspiration to so many, and such a gracious woman.. You have been blessed...
Judi Dains
I just received your e-mail forwarded by Sheila. I cannot express how stunned I am at the news.
ReplyDeleteI had been so looking forward to, once again, driving your mother to and from the Folsom Quilt Retreat and rooming with her. We had been sharing this together for years - it was a special time for us both. I was disappointed that she had to cancel for this past retreat but I NEVER expected this news - I know you didn't either.
Shenna, I know that there will be so much support forth coming from the LDS church but . . .
if there is ever ANYTHING I can do to help you must let me know!
My thoughts will be constantly with all of you and especially with Emma.
Carolyn Monson
Shenna,
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful letter about your Mom’s condition. I know you must be pretty worn out after the past week you have had. I am glad Heather happened to be in town to be there for this decision which I also feel very good about. I just got off the phone with Sloane and Madison I and will forward this to them. I just booked tickets for them and Lochlan and I to arrive in Sacramento on Friday Oct 9 (we get in around noon) and are looking forward to spend some special time with Emma. We will fly out on Sunday night. As planned Heather will continue to stay with your Mom. I know your Mom has run a great race and come out a winner. It is rather unique that she will have this opportunity to take a victory lap. She is going to enjoy her reunion with her sister Thelma and she will have so much to tell her.
Thanks for all you do,
Merritt
Shenna,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the very informative update. I am so sorry for what you are experiencing and going through. You are all so amazing and positive, you inspire me. I saw your dad for a moment last night and he did seem peaceful in spite of the current situation. I asked your dad what we could do and you know him, so I am requesting that whatever the needs are you let us know so we can help and support with whatever help you guys need.
THanks again for the update and my prayers are with all of you!!
Pam Fowers
Shenna-
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the information about your mom--I had no idea--just missed seeing you on Sunday like I normally do. I will be sure and let Dan, as your home teacher, read this email. Please call on him/us if you need anything--we are here to help in any way we can.
Our thoughts and prayers are with all your family! Please share that with them.
Love,
Julie Humbert
I’m so sorry Mom. I feel so bad for you and your sisters and Oma and Opa. I’m coming Thursday night and Nat will bring Maddix on Friday and we’ll stay for a couple days. I’m going to have Nat take a picture of Maddix with the quilt Oma gave us and bring it with her. Is there anything else I can do for her or Opa?
ReplyDeleteSo we’re not going to try any alternative medicine stuff? Is that because we think it won’t work or because Oma doesn’t want to go through the stress of trying things and having them fail and she just wants to relax and enjoy the next couple weeks?
Anyway, I obviously don’t know anything about what’s going on, I’m just so shocked you know...
Love you very much Mom
-Eric
Hi Shenna,
ReplyDeleteI just talked w/ my mom tonight and she filled me in a bit on your mom.
I will remember both your parents and you in my prayers. Please write me tomorrow or whenever you find out what is going on with your Mom. I wished I lived closer and could help. I dearly love both your parents.
It was really good to hear from you. I think about you all the time and would love to spend more time with you! Alyssa has told me about your contact w/ her on face book. One afternoon she called downstairs to me that "Shenna says hi!" At first I couldnt figure out what she was talking about.... Someday I wll get a facebook account. Sounds like such fun!
Hugs to you,
Love,
Di
Dianna Bybee
What a WONDERFUL photo of Emma and Ted. I have captured it, put it in my iPhoto and even put it in my iPod where it will be close to me always.
ReplyDeletePeace,
Carolyn
Dear Allabes Family,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry what your family is going through. Your blog post was beautiful, and I admire you for all of the difficult decisions you are making. I am currently sitting in a pediatric ICU as my daughter recovers from one of her many surgeries. I know what it is like to make difficult health decisions, and my heart goes out to you and your family.
I love that Sister Allebes asked for chocolate and was taking charge of the situation. My love and prayers and support go to your family.
Sister Allabes, I will always remember you for your kindness and many talents. Your quilts you made were remarkable. I know my mom enjoyed walking with you. I remember coming to your home to visit OMA. Good luck with everything and know that you are loved by so many people.
Love always,
Kira (Snow) Zemenchik
Hi again,
ReplyDeleteI was unable to post my comment until I pressed "anonymous" as my profile (thus the reason why the top says anonymous). Since I do not have a blog account, that seemed to be my only option. I thought this might be helpful to others if they want to post a comment and do not have a blog account. Or, maybe there is a better way that I do not know of :-).
Kira
Shenna, You and your family are in my thoughts. Emma is such a talented and special person. I have always enjoyed seeing her art work and sewing creations. I remember the first time I met your mom at Tayo's. Barbara Sharpe sent me there to find fabric for a coat I was making. Emma's advice was perfect for my project, as always thereafter. We will all miss her greatly. The Folsom Guild fashion show will never be the same without her memorable contributions. Thank you for allowing all of us to share in this difficult time in your lives.
ReplyDeleteHi Emma, I'm not sure you realize what an inspiration you've been to those of us lucky enough to know you through SAQA. You are so humble about your artistry, yet so delighted by creating and sharing your (and your husband's) art. It has been such a pleasure to enjoy you and your creations.
ReplyDeleteFamily, How sad, yet wonderful to share in this experience. (I've been through the same) Please try to make some time for yourselves. What a wonderful family. Cathy
I can't seem to post either---suggestions?
ReplyDeleteHello Shenna and family
We are all saddened by the news that our beloved Emma is ill. But I rejoice with you and your family in Emma's joining those who have gone on before her. We that remain of course in this earthly tent are saddened because our beloved wife, mother, grandmother, friend, fellow artist have gone home to be with our Lord and Master. I look forward to that day myself when there will be no more pain and suffering and yes seeing my family and friends Emma always talked about family and how important you all are to her.
I met you (Emma) many years ago at Tayo's of course. When I moved from Folsom to Fair Oaks Tayo's was a necessary stop when I needed fabrics not only for quilting but my wearable art garments. I took a creative clothing class from you in the late 90's. You talked about something called Fibonacci--some mathematical concept that I never did grasp. Though I have it recorded and some day maybe I will! There is/was something special about you, that made me want to be know you better. You are always so full of unique ideas and helpful whenever a question arrived, and believe me I have had many a time when I needed your advice. The last one was when I called and a quilt had been skewed when professionally quilted. You always told me you square blocks/quilts on the floor, sometime I hope to be able to do that, though impossible in my house with a child and cat.
As time went on, I became a competitor in wearable art. As a non professional I did not have to compete with you, but share the stage with you. As time went on eventually I did have to compete with you and boy was I honored! Emma, you always made the nervous time of waiting to pass quickly because of your humor, not only at the Folsom guild challenges, but at Paducah fashion show. Emma's, you are always so welcoming and friendly. You are tactfully outspoken too, no mincing words.
When the little circle group formed, it was going to be such an honor to be in a group with the famous Emma Allebes! Every time our group met at your home, you are so hospitable. We created a breast cancer auction quilt in your studio under your direction. Your wearable art on the mannequins show how proud you are of your work. Though there was humbleness and a history lesson when asked about each piece. Each time we took a tour of your garden I was amazed at how bountiful and big it was. It was like walking thru the Garden of Eden itself. I always loved kicking off my shoes because the grass was so plush.
I have always admired your precision work. The great lengths you took to coordinate shoes with outfits. To increase show and tell at the guild you gave away a pair of socks each month. I will remember your signature checkerboard borders or bindings.
You leave a legacy of character, a love for others and power in the faith you possess. This is a legacy that will last and carry all who know you till we see you again.
Susan Patzer-Hicks